The last 10 years have brought so much joy and so much heartache. If I’d known in 2009 what I know now, in 2019, I probably would have just laid down and called it quits. But, thankfully, life doesn’t let you in on its little secrets.
One incredible joy of this decade has been the birth of my baby, Opal June. Something about the way she came into the world – through a natural labor and delivery – gave me a sense that raising her was going to be a wild and beautiful ride. And so it has been.
The first two years of this decade found the five of us (and Jersey, our yellow lab) living with my mom and dad. And as much as I couldn’t wait for us to buy our very first home, something in me knew this time in their home was time to be cherished; that I would look back one day and be so thankful for it. And I am. So very thankful. The special memories I have with my parents and my children – of course particularly with my dad since he is no longer with us – are priceless. The amount of books read and games played (on the floor, no less). The number of times my parents were all ears for Sophia’s entertainment – whether it be a puppet show on the bunkbeds with Ira or a singing performance with her karaoke microphone – mom and dad didn’t skip a beat.
When we finally purchased our home on Park Ave in 2011, Sophia wanted to have her 8-year-old birthday party there even though we hadn’t officially moved in. We had a party in a virtually empty house. Move-in day was in late March – and it was snowing! That little house served us well for seven years. Sophia and Ira shared a room; then Opal and Ira shared a room; and then Sophia eventually made her way into the basement, needing a little distance from the rest of us. We had the best neighbors. There was never a day when Opal didn’t have someone to play with. She was in and out and all around. Vicky and Joe were more like family (Vicky even mowed our lawn once without us knowing) and we knew they always had our back.
In 2012, Ira finally decided he was ready to eat. Table food. After feeding therapy in New Jersey and feeding therapy in our Brooklyn apartment, and feeding therapy in Ellisville, MO, none of which produced a child who could chew and swallow, Ira learned to eat in a matter of days. We couldn’t believe it. Apparently, he was just ready. Lord knows we sure were. We’d pureed all the peanut butter, jelly, and spinach sandwiches we cared to puree. And believe it or not, between he and his sisters, Ira is our best eater by a long shot.
In 2014, Joe and I found ourselves on a journey through a very dark time. It was heavy and hard. Some days felt like we would never make it and other days offered a ray of hope. Our marriage was extremely fragile for many months. We went to therapy together. We went to therapy alone. So. Much. Therapy. But, we survived the darkness and found our way back into the light. And I’m so grateful we did. I know we would have been OK if things had turned out differently. But I’m thankful our marriage survived.
We became the parents of a teenager in 2016. We thought we were surely too young and beautiful for this to be true. But alas, as we checked the mirror to find our hair graying and thinning we realized, yes, we were indeed old enough to have a teenager. And said teenager proceeded to spend her entire birthday pouting because her parents wouldn’t let her have a social media app she was sure she was PROMISED. We wondered who swallowed up our darling, agreeable firstborn and spit out this unrecognizable, fire breathing dragon?
Within the last 10 years, we’ve driven our children to piano lessons and drum lessons; to ballet classes and hip-hop. They’ve played on multiple teams for basketball, softball and lacrosse. They’ve taken lessons for horseback riding, for swimming and choir. The amount of money we’ve invested in our children’s extra-curricular activities (and gas!) could probably have paid for their college tuition by this point. But I have no regrets. They learned a little something about who they are and what they like through each and every one of these endeavors.
Joe and I had the opportunity to do a little traveling. We spent a weekend in NYC, visiting the sights and sounds of our old neighborhood, spending time with friends, and seeing one friend in particular as she carried the lead in a Broadway show. We met our dear friends in Colorado (twice!) to ski and eat and laugh a lot. We even got to spend a week in Jamaica, celebrating the completion of Joe’s doctoral program. There we met and made some new friends while singing karaoke around the piano bar. In the summer of 2018, we took an epic family vacation to the West Coast. We drove to Hays, KS on our way to Colorado. We hit Garden of the Gods as well as Pikes Peak before heading to Zion National Park. We spent time with our dear friend Pete, in L.A., before making our way back home by way of the Grand Canyon and the Blue Hole. It was epic. So many amazing memories.
Within the last decade, Joe managed to get a second master’s degree as well as complete his doctorate. Not without a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, of course. He worked very hard on his coursework and I worked very hard to hold down the fort for the rest of us. It was definitely a team effort. And I’ve begun a second master’s degree as well. Hopefully within the next two years I’ll be able to graduate with a degree in counseling.
In May 2018, we sold our first home on Park Ave. opting for a larger house on Anduin Court. We have loved the space but not the mortgage payment. In August of that year, my beloved dad took his last breath. His was a long, hard road of sickness and we were all thankful he was no longer suffering (or having to drink that dreadful medicine four times a day). But we miss him terribly – his laughter, the way he would light up in the presence of his grandchildren, his love of nature and sports, and most of all, his unconditional love.
And finally, 2019 has had its share of highs and lows. Sophia became a legal driver in March and bought her first car (with her own money) off a lot in the city – Cartopia – a decision we all regretted when she totaled it a couple months later. Sophia and I took the trip of a lifetime to Mozambique, East Africa. Witnessing her experience life outside of America for the first time will be something I will cherish forever. And Ira? Well, he endured two major surgeries this year. One expected and one completely NOT. The first was to repair his herniated diaphragm and the second was because of a blocked bowel. A very blocked bowel, as it turns out. He didn’t get to eat or drink anything for 10 days, proving once again, he is braver and stronger than all of us combined.
What do the next ten years have in store for our family? High school graduations? College graduations? First jobs? Possibly even a wedding? No, definitely not a wedding. Undoubtedly there will be ups and downs, highs and lows, elation and grief. My prayer is that my family will remember through it all, we are not alone. God is walking before us, beside us, and holding us steadfastly and lovingly from behind. Life is beautiful here and now. May we not take one day for granted. We’ve been given today. This day. Praise be to God.
Life According to Laura 