The search for a school for Ira for this fall has been arduous. For Sophia, I patted myself on the back for evading the crazy mayhem known as “finding a preschool in NYC”. Instead of putting her name on a waiting list while in utero, she began going to daycare after Ira was born and continued until she started Pre-K last fall at the public school around the corner.
Surely, I thought, I won’t have to engage in the preschool rat-race with Ira either. After all, he has special needs. Isn’t New York supposed to be a great place for kids like him?
We began the process of finding him a school last October. In January we were handed a list of every special- ed school in the 5 boroughs (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, and Staten Island) and told to start making phone calls. Before we could look at any schools we had to have his Speech, OT, and PT evaluations performed. By March we had the results of these in hand and have spent the last 3 months calling schools, touring schools, asking the opinion of everyone we know who knows anything about schools.
Ira is different in that he has great cognitive potential but still has medical needs that have to be met. Although these needs are much fewer than a few months ago, his school would need to have a full-time nurse on staff. This fact helped to narrow our search.
We narrowed the list of approximately 100 schools down to seven. We toured those schools, we took Ira for play dates, we agonized over what to do. Some schools made the decision for us and some we decided against ourselves. At one point Joe and I didn’t know if we were going to find a school at all. Finally a couple weeks ago we got a call from a school in Manhattan that felt they had a place for Ira. From what we had seen, we were very impressed with this school and were excited they wanted Ira. We were relieved.
Today I met with the director, the nurse, and the head of the speech therapist dept. and was delighted by how much they wanted to do whatever they could to meet Ira’s needs.
But I’m so nervous.
Choosing this school will mean putting my 3 year old on a school bus every morning. It will mean Ira going to school all day, every day. It feels like it will mean my time with him at home is over. And I was just getting started…
I know parents make this transition with their children every year. We will not be the first and certainly won’t be the last. But I am still not 100% convinced its the right thing for him. However, though I have been wracking my brain, I have yet to come up with a better solution.
So, I will hope and pray for the transition this fall to be smooth and for most of the tears shed to be mine and not my son’s.
Life According to Laura 
Tough choices , seems really young?? but gotta let him fly a little , he has come so far already , if it is a secure place and you know all is well and feel good about it in your gut ,thats all you can ask for , besides , He is always always always going to need his Mommy , believe me all BOYS/MEN do !LOL (WINK ☺☺☺☺☺)
My son had some special needs (minor compared to Ira) and he to started school at 3 yrs old. He began the early childhood intervention program at our local public school (half-day). It was tough, we both had tears and he would sometimes hide under a table because he would get overwhelmed but it was a miracle transformation! He make such gains in those two years! He fell in love with his teacher and the aides and the therapists and they all fell in love with him. It was the best way to get him the services he needed and I highly recommend it!
Now, my son is 20 and in the army.
You know what happened with John – 😦 Mommy cried more then John the first day of school!
Go through the process and see how you feel whne Ira starts. He may surprise you and absolutly love going every day! You will know when the time comes if you should continue or not… believe me… you will know!
Its such a hard transition as a mother…
XOX
Barb
Will be praying for the transition … xoxoxo
We are going through the exact same process here in MO with Lane. He is supposed to start school in August and we still don’t know if we can follow through with it. He has never been away from us for a period of time. It will be a huge transition and I’m not sure how to prepare either one of us. We will be sending him with a trach so we are very nervous about him going. We will pray for both of us to know the right answer.
I feel like I should have some awesome words of wisdom to share with you, but I got nothin’! You will make the right decision, you and Joe know Ira the best and you know what he needs.
I heard a little rumor that you might make an appearance at high teen. We would love to see ya.
Wow, Laura. Thanks for sharing this. I will lift you up in prayer – I can only imagine what this must feel like a little bit – for your comfort and peace!
you have to remember that if it stinks you can pluck him out and “home school” him one more year. intuition and gut goes a long way with our children, particularly with someone like ira. but, you have to try and see what happens.
God will show you the way to go. As long as you make the choice that is right for Ira, you and your family. Don’t make the popular choice, or the pressured choice. Don’t be afraid to make a different choice.
Not all parents make the decision to put their babies on a bus that will take them out from under protective wings. They are like tender little plants. Some keep them until they are strong enough to stand alone in the hot sun and strong winds.