the moby

One of my favorite things to do with Opal is put her in my Moby sling. I never got to carry Ira this way and I was so looking forward to getting to use it this time around. She loves it and usually falls asleep within minutes. It allows me to hold her “hands free”! I wore it the other day for 2 hours and my back was still feelin’ good. Amazing!

frustration

I’m frustrated tonight. I’m frustrated because my husband has to teach in a classroom tomorrow with 37 fourth graders and there doesn’t seem to be anyone overly concerned about this besides those of us that know and love him. I want to light a fire under someone’s a*# so that something will be done. But who? I feel like my hands are tied. There is nothing about it that is ok. I don’t want my husband to burn out before he truly begins.

opal ann meets opal june

Last week my grandmother, Opal Ann, turned 98. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for Opal June to meet her. So we packed an overnight bag and headed to AR. To say she was thrilled to meet her namesake really doesn’t capture the moment.

The color on this isn’t great but the smile is priceless.

Having recently just had a baby, I have a renewed respect for this woman. After all, she birthed 11 children!!! Here she is with 9 of them…

And here’s one thrown in for good measure…

one month

I know I may be a little biased but is she not beautiful?

I am finally beginning to emerge from a four week fog. I will not lie. It has been a hard month. I have loved every minute with Opal June but I have shed many tears and suffered many headaches. In fact, I have even been given antidepressants to help me get over the hump. My aunt, who suffered the loss of her second husband recently, told me this weekend that the body can only handle so much. I think my body hit it’s limit. I don’t know if the headaches and depression were the result of hormones or stress, or both, but I’m thankful for the medication – even though I was embarrassed to take it initially. I think I’m through the worst part.

Opal has slept much of her four weeks with us. If she is not sleeping, she is eating. She is a good eater and has the rolls to prove it. Her brother and sister can’t keep their hands off her although they usually leave her looking very concerned. She will learn…

Three kids is a lot to juggle. I have yet to venture out much with all three by myself. I especially have to smile when I am trying to feed Opal and the other two are kissing and/or poking her. Ahhh!!! I’ve had to initiate a ‘hands off’ rule while she is eating.

Summer vacation is over. The kids start school tomorrow. Here we go!

party

Sophia had a plan. She wanted to have a Welcome Home party for her new baby sister – complete with decorations that had to include balloons and of course, a cake. She made a list of all who would be invited including her grandparents from Texas who would be in town. A date was nailed down and preparations began.

The day of the party arrived and there was much to be done. Let me just say this party would have never come together without KK’s (my mom) hard work. KK fixed a delicious meal and took Sophia out to buy the appropriate decor.

Even though Opal slept through the whole thing, we all agreed she felt honored and loved by her big sis.

hangin’ out Hays style

The story of Opal June – the beginning

The clock was ticking. Joe was headed back to work in 5 days and still no baby. I had been dilated to a 4 for nearly 3 weeks and still no baby. I was walking 40 minutes every other day, drinking red wine, taking hot baths, eating spicy food, getting massaged, and still no baby. What was it going to take for this little one to decide it was time? Didn’t she know we were all ready?

My hope was to have a birth with no or very little medical intervention [read, no pain meds] with this 3rd child. I tried with Sophia but was unsuccessful. Ira was induced so I didn’t even bother. And so I thought I would give this one my best shot. I found a doc – first in Manhattan and then in St. Louis – that was very supportive of my hopes. I found a hospital that would support me and even had a tub reserved with the idea of laboring as much as I could in water.

But Tuesday morning I woke up ready to kiss all that goodbye. I decided it was more important for me to have a few days with the baby before Joe became consumed with all things Teach For America. So I went to my weekly doctor appointment and asked what we could do. I was prepared to induce.

He suggested we go across the street to the hospital, have them break my water, and see if we could get my labor going that way. If within 3-4 hours nothing was happening, then they could start medication. Joe and I really liked this idea and felt like it was a middle ground between medically inducing and just waiting around. So, the doc gave a call over to the hospital while we went home and got our bags. By 3:15pm, we were in a room and my water was broken.

Before I continue, I must take a moment to say a word about our nurse, Anita. Anita greeted us in our room with a big smile and a “so we’re gonna have a baby!” attitude. She was so excited for us. Little did I know how big of a player she would be in the course of the next 4 hours.

I proceeded to get in the shower where I stayed for the majority of my labor. Joe never left my side and was the best shower head holder I could have ever asked for. He never once made me feel like I should be doing anything other than exactly what I was doing. As my contractions increased in intensity, he let me go to that inner place without distraction. We exchanged very few words during those hours but I knew he was with me, silently encouraging me, believing in me.

Meanwhile, Anita was running around getting me anything I might need. She tracked down a birthing ball and a monitor that could be used in the shower. She wanted me to be able to stay under the warm water as long as I wanted without having to come out to monitor the baby. At this point I had opted out of setting up the tub. For one, the shower was doing the trick and two the tub cost $200. Why not save a little money when you can?

I reached a point when the contractions were just too much to handle in the shower. Anita suggested a couple other positions but it wasn’t long before I was dilated to an 8 and 100% effaced. Basically this meant the baby was on it’s way. It was 7pm and time for the nurses to change shifts. Anita was supposed to be on her way home to enjoy a nice cold one after a long hard day. Anita didn’t budge. The new nurse came in and worked in the background while Anita walked me through the rest of the delivery. She had the new nurse call my doctor and said I was going to have a baby in about 15-20 minutes. This gave me the hope I needed to get to the end.

At this point, the contractions were so intense that I was having a really hard time staying on top of them with my breathing. It was easier to just scream and cry but that just made it harder for the baby to come on down, if you will. So, with every ounce of power and energy I had, I breathed through those last contractions until it was time to push.

By this time, my doctor had arrived. I proceeded to blame him for my pain telling him this was all his fault. He laughed. I didn’t. After a couple more contractions it was time to push. I will never, ever forget the pain I felt trying to push my baby out. I screamed with everything inside of me and begged the doctor to help me. I remember feeling like she was stuck and the pain was never going to end – that there was no going back but I also couldn’t seem to move her forward. Finally with one contraction, the head was out. We waited for the next contraction…finally the shoulders, and then the rest of her slid out. Then relief. So much intoxicating relief. And there she was in my arms. A girl. The most beautiful girl I had seen since her sister arrived 6 years ago. She was perfect. And then she let an ear-splitting scream and I knew everything was going to be just fine.

With tears streaming down his face, Joe kissed me and we both stared at our precious new daughter. What were we going to name her? We still hadn’t decided. After 9 months of tossing around names, we landed on Opal and decided to stay. Opal June Hays. Born 7:30pm, 8lbs, 20 inches.

Opal, how did we ever live without you?

mystery

Life is a mystery. As we wait this week for our baby to be brought in to this life, there are others waiting for loved ones to pass on from this life. As we wait with joyful anticipation, others wait with fear and trembling.

We hope and pray for a healthy child all the while knowing the full range of possibilities. And we don’t forget those sitting hour upon hour by their child’s or loved one’s side, waiting, hoping, for a miracle.

Much preparation has been made for this new little one. I think I’ve been making up for the fact that we did nothing to prepare for Ira’s birth – not physically anyway. We bought no diapers, no clothes, prepared no crib, nothing. We just waited to see if he would ever come home. And we feel so lucky to have him with us today.

Life is a mystery. And when this baby finally decides to make an entrance, and when it proves it can breathe without the help of machines, and when I get to hold it right away instead of having to wait weeks, and when it sucks and swallows, eating on it’s own for the first time, I will give thanks. And I will remember those still waiting for their children to do these things and those who are waiting for the day they will see their loved ones again.

made it!

Thankfully, no baby was born in Texas last week (not mine, anyway). We did manage to have loads of cousin fun!!!

Popsicles in the hot tub? Oh yeah!

Golf anyone?

Ira could do this all day. Thanks Granddad!

Aunt Katie and Gram

Annual Hays Cousins Camp photo shoot with Gram and Granddad

Seriously, Ira, this could have been a perfect shot!

Heintz Cousins with KK and Papa

Jason and Amber – this is a nice look for you bro

My brothers – Jonathan and Jason

Me and Dad

Just chillin’

Ira and his uncles

A little sibling love…

All together now

pool relief

Joe was home for a quick weekend. He has 2 more weeks in Atlanta and then he’ll be home for good. The kids had been talking all week about swimming with Dad so we spent Saturday morning at the pool. We arrived by 10 am and it was already in the 90s. The pool is the only place to be in those kind of temps!

The kids and I leave today with my mom to drive to Texas. We will spend the week in Tahoka with Joe’s family and in Dallas with my brother and his family. Cousins Camp here we come!

(Now if I can just keep this baby inside for another couple of weeks. I won’t bore you with the details of what I’m already dilated to.  Should I be driving to Texas? That’s yet to be determined…:)