My dearest Opal June,

How is it that you are already four months old? And yet, haven’t I have known you all my life?

You single handedly have reignited my mind and body with joy. I had forgotten how to feel joy over the last four years. Oh sure, I had moments of joy here and there. But to feel it daily, I believe my mind had forgotten how. I had learned how to survive but couldn’t get past “survival mode.” You brought me through the rain into the sunshine.

You greet me with a contagious smile each morning that fills your face. And I know you really are that glad to see me. You tolerate your brother’s hands constantly touching your head and your sister’s jostling as she lovingly holds you. They adore you, Opal. You are first on their minds when they awake and they compete to be first in your room when you make your first morning sounds.

My favorite place for you to be is nestled close to my heart in a sling. I have several. Probably too many. But you love them and I love to carry you so close. I wasn’t sure I would use them in the suburbs but I have found many uses. Not a time goes by when you’re snuggled in that I don’t have someone stop and ask about your ride.

You have giggled for me and for your sister but you are holding out on your daddy. You better show him that you can do it pretty soon or he’s bound to get jealous. You melt his heart and he looks at your picture on his phone many times throughout his day. Here’s to hoping that you will be our athlete

At your age, Sophia had just moved into a tiny apartment in Manhattan and Ira was still in the hospital preparing for yet another surgery. I wonder what the next few years will hold for you.

I adore you. You are loved more than I could have thought imaginable. You are my Opal June.

to the moon and back,

Momma

This blog is boring me. I can’t imagine how anyone reading it must feel…

Let’s see…

The highlight of last weekend was when Joe arrived home Friday night and announced he had big plans for me. I was instructed to get my jacket and get in the car. He proceeded to drive me to a spa and told me he would pick me up in an hour for dinner. He had arranged earlier in the week for my parents to take care of the kids so we could have an evening together. It was probably the best massage I’ve ever received – and I’ve had a few!

That night (and the next) I got to sleep upstairs in the empty king sized bed while Joe spent two restless nights with Opal June. You see, we’d been trying all week to get her to drop her nighttime feeding. After a week of no progress, we have now moved her out of our room and will wait a month or so before we try again. Thank you, Joe, for taking care of me. Opal, it’s a good thing you’re delicious.

I took Ira to the ENT last week because he has never been able to successfully pass a hearing test. The Doc took one look in his ears and said definitively that he needs tubes in both ears. In fact, after looking at his hearing test scores, he couldn’t believe Ira had scored as well as he did. His surgery is scheduled for December 9th.

Sophia has been enjoying “Smart Girls at the Party” videos on YouTube with Amy Poehler. They have me laughing out loud at times and I can’t get the theme song out of my head!

This week Sophia’s school held a Turkey Trot. In P.E., which they have 5 times a week, they have been working on building up their running stamina. It has been fun to hear from Sophia how many laps they ran each day. So on Tuesday every kid in the school got to show off their strut and run in a mini “race”. My friend, Meghan, took this picture of her son and my girl. I love it!

I know you all have cute kids in your life but if you have a second, go here to vote for my cute kid…

(I just realized you have to sign-in to vote. How annoying…)

It’s hard to believe we have been living in St. Louis with my parents for 5 months. So many things have happened in that time and yet it feels like just yesterday we were sitting on our stoop in Brooklyn. As much as I miss the people and places of NYC, for now, being close to family surpasses all my longing. To see my parents enjoying my children on a daily basis is priceless.

Celebrating Halloween in the suburbs had its high points (thank you Ken and Megan!). Both Sophia and Ira could not believe people were willing to just hand them candy. In Brooklyn, we didn’t really trick or treat. We just let the kids hand out candy from the stoop. So, on our way out on Saturday, Sophia grabbed a bag of Snickers and said, “I’m going to sell these.” That was her way of saying she was going to hand the candy out. She had no idea what she was in for. And Ira LOVED the St. Louis tradition of telling a joke before you get handed the candy. I gotta say, I REALLY missed this tradition. Seriously. I could never get over kids getting something for nothing. Ira’s joke?

“Why the chicken cross the river?”

“Because for to get the other siiiiide.”

Duh. Yes, he made this up.

Other weekend highlights – my dad celebrated his 66th birthday. Following tradition, Sophia insisted on decorating with balloons. It is not a birthday without them. On Friday, Sophia did not have school so I took the kids up to visit Joe’s class. I can not tell you how impressed I was. We walked in and every kid was in his/her seat and on task. The room was quiet and yet there was a sense of pride on every face. They had so much fun asking Sophia and Ira any question they wanted about Mr. Hays.

We spent Saturday morning raking leaves. It was a gorgeous morning, especially after a week (or month, really) of rainy days. Joe commented that this was his first time to rake leaves. I was shocked. I have many fun memories of spending autumn days in the yard with my family raking leaves. Or maybe that was just my parents raking and my brothers and I goofing off. Not sure about that:)

Thanksgiving, here we come!

I don’t really have anything new and exciting to post. I just needed to post this picture.

My one piece of news is that after 34 years I finally know what is my favorite color. I know, this sounds a bit ridiculous. But it is true. This question has always bugged me as I’ve never felt particularly drawn to one special color. I would always say blue but somewhere in my heart I knew that wasn’t quite it.

The other day I was wearing a new sweatshirt that Joe and I bought (apparently to share) from Ira’s school last year. And it hit me. I LOVE this sweatshirt. And I LOVE it primarily because I LOVE the color. And that color???? Navy. Yep. My favorite color is navy blue.

Wow. I haven’t blogged for 20 days. Where does the time go?

This week I got to fly with Opal to Kansas City to spend 2 days with my 3 best friends from college. It was just what the doctor ordered. Or would have ordered had I been to see her. We sat around in our pajamas and talked non-stop. We laughed, ate, cried, burped, farted (or tooted if you live under our roof), walked, talked, ate, dyed our hair (oh wait, that was just me), dreamed, and ate some more. I came back feeling rejuvenated as mom and wife. I am so thankful for those friendships.

I have spent much of the last two weeks taking Ira to appointments. As his teachers and therapists will say, Ira is a mystery. There are things he can do and things he can’t do that don’t seem consistent. I am taking him to a specialized optometrist tomorrow. He also failed an extensive hearing test because he has fluid behind both ears. He is on an antibiotic for that and have an appointment scheduled to see the ENT doctor in a couple weeks. We also spent a couple days at a feeding clinic here in St. Louis. Their approach is quite different from what we experienced in New Jersey. Their hope is to put the power of eating and experiencing food in Ira’s hands. Ira’s school really wants him to receive their services so we will begin going there once a week in November.

I am working on beginning my music classes again. My friend has volunteered her home one day a week. We will see what kind of response that brings. I’m excited to begin those again. The trees here are gorgeous. We never got the colors in Brooklyn that I see out my window today. So lovely. I love this time of year.

A friend has nominated Joe to receive a $100 gift card from Office Max and their “A Day Made Better” giveaway. If you would like to vote for him, go here and leave a comment. He deserves to win!

(If you don’t wish to vote for him, just think about all the food I could buy with the money he is NOT spending on paper.

I thought I would share a little bit about how the Hays family is doing. We are good. This weekend, although Joe worked both Saturday and Sunday, it felt like we had a little bit of him back. The time he did spend with the family was time he was able to be here both physically AND mentally. That felt good. He is working so hard both because it is his first year and because he doesn’t know how to do a job half-way. We are so proud of him.

Because Joe is working so much, however, I am very thankful to be living with my parents. Although you will find me driving around the neighborhood on Sunday afternoons looking for Open Houses, we are not really in the market to buy a home. Not yet. Not until things slow down just a bit for Joe or I grow an extra arm.

Truth be told, I like living my parents. I love watching them enjoy the older two and seeing them drool over Opal. I like sharing meals with them and hearing about their days. It’s nice to have some adult conversation available if I want it. I have a new appreciation for cultures where generations of family live under the same roof – often for survival. My parents are helping me to survive this present time.

As for the kids, Sophia is truly enjoying first grade. She went into the school year timid about learning to read but her skills are taking off. She is making new friends and is excited to go in the mornings. She still likes to play “teacher” with anyone who is willing and cracks me up with the outfits she finds to wear. The other day she came home from school and immediately changed her clothes. I found her in the backyard like this:

Ira also loves his time in the “frog room”. Every now and then we will be going somewhere when I’ll hear another child yelling “Ira!” and realize it is one of his classmates. Who doesn’t love that kid? He is a lover of all animals and the other day I caught him observing a praying mantis. Yikes. He is still receiving Speech, OT, and PT and we have made no headway in the eating department. He has one favorite food and that is strawberry yogurt. Everything else is disgusting. Yes, even chocolate ice cream

Opal had her two month check-up today. She is in the 99% for weight and 75% for height. She came out of the womb with the skills…she will probably have to teach her brother one day. She is smiling and cooing and just plain being her cute self.

We have joined a church – Union Avenue Christian Church – and are looking forward to getting involved by teaching the children’s class. I have joined the choir and sang for the second time with them yesterday. They were so welcoming to us that we could not NOT join. Suzanne, the pastor, has been nothing but a blessing to our lives the past 3 months.

I am feeling much better. I’m still taking medication and feel like it is helping me stay on top of my life. I’m able to feel joy and find myself smiling more than I have in a while. I’m enjoying my kids, my parents, my life. I’m thankful for this. With October around the corner, I find myself feeling nostalgic for Brooklyn. This is my favorite time of year and Halloween was my favorite holiday there. I will miss hangin’ out on the stoop with good friends and neighbors. I’m eager to discover what will become my favorite part of living in St. Louis.

Nobody tell my dad I’m wearing a headband.

Nobody tell my mom I’m napping with Dad and not in my bed.

Nobody tell our neighbors that we actually CAN get along sometimes.